I was right. All I ranted yesterday haunted me in my sleep. And this time, I was dreaming that I was a Digimon preparing for war and acted as if I was ready to die...
[ Now Listening To: Reverend & The Makers - Heavyweight Champion Of The World ]
And seriously, I feel like dying. =( Cuz I'm simply not over what I said yesterday...
And I don't think I'll get overritt easily. When I'm emo or stoning, I'll be thinking abourrit. When I'm hyper and joking around, I'm simply hiding it... or if HE is there...
Haiz...
Because of my stupid thoughts, woke up late for school, and was almost late for school. Which would have been really embarrassing since I was wearing a red shirt.
Thought of bottling it all in school today. But after the whole celebrations, it was too immense. I couldn't control it anymore...
I feel soo hopeless.
[ Now Listening To: Parking Lot Pimp - Test Drive ]
....*moments of silence*....
[ Now Listening To: Yellowcard - Light Up The Sky ]
I made a conlusion: The problem lies in HIM.
I'm not blaming him. I'm blaming myself that I'm simply thinking too much of HIM, for HIM, and with HIM. And this causes a chain reaction to my other problems.
Come to think of it. I was fine before I started thinking of HIM too much. Recall my better grades last year, and for my SA1...
Haiz. I hate this.
[ Now Listening To: Kelis - Milkshake ]
*pokes stupid song*
I hate talking about HIM. It's like I'm too deprived about someone, which is not really out of the ordinary, but the fact that my life is going down the drain, this pisses me off.
I know, I'm not really making much of a sense. I'm simply stating what my mind is thinking right now. And right now, a lot of stuff is going through my head.
[ Now Listening To: Pink - Who Knew (Live) ]
Trying my best to keep things ambiguous. Especially since I know some teachers are reading this....
But that would mean hiding my emotions again......
My brain hurts again... =(
[ Now Listening To: Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry ]
Feel like crying right now... I feel... lonely somehow... even when my brain is hurting....
The smell of your skin lingers on me now You're probably on your flight back to your hometown I need some shelter of my own protection baby to be with myself in center, clarity Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've gotta move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending do they And I for seek the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry
Like a little school mate in the school yard We'll play jacks and Uno cards I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine Yes you can hold my hand if you want to 'cause I wanna hold yours too We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret words But it's time for me to go home It's getting late, dark outside I need to be with myself in center, clarity Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've gotta get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry
[ Now Listening To: Lindsay Lohan - Rumours ]
I thought I was being strong. But I was just hiding from my fears - afraid....
Give me time to heal.... I'll post what happen today another time....
... 2:20 pm
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Musli Temasekian Victorian ACSian Ncc(Sea) Senior Peer Leader PSB ExCo Curriculum Head 1SC9 2SC9 AEP 16 yrs old 17 Feb '92 Aquaries Emo, not emo Muslimin
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