Sometimes I wonder whether I had made the right decision. That if I chose the other way, it will end up bad or simply ruin my life. But then again, the decisions I made often end up bad as well.
So are my decisions necessarily correct?
Woke up today at 7 with my head aching like shit, but the will to go to school is still there. But my dad told me that if I really feel ill, I'm excused from school, especially since I already have an MC for today.
But then again, today is the last day of lessons before the exams, which is totally unprepared for. What if I have last minute questions to raise? Am I able to email the teachers to get a reply ASAP?
I don't think so.
Higher Malay as the first paper on Thursday. Dad said that since there's no HMT today, might as well not go to school; revise at home will be a better option. I'm quite unsure and uneasy about the decision I made. Dad could only say those things to me because he's lazy to send me to school; that he wants more rest before he has to leave for work.
I feel totally uncomfortable staying at home for another day. Felt as if I'm quarantined. Felt as if I'm weak to fight against this.
Then again, I could just be lazy... No. I'm sure that the exams are too important to neglect.
Weakened. And I'm confused. =S It could be the lack of energy since I'm fasting. But it could be that I had lost out to this evil laziness within me and that something called conscious is attacking me with all its regrets and self-pity.
I'm more compelled to feel that I had made the wrong decision to stay home. I have yet to uploade the overdue Performance Art Video. And I have homework to be submitted for Homework Marks, which is accounted for in SA2. The more I delay, the more marks are deducted. And there goes my hopes to get a Single Digit L1R5.
I'm sure the Art Teachers are gonna fcuk me upside down for not submitting my work. I can't help feeling so dead. And helpless.
Ooh! Lizhi just called me saying that other than the Video, I have to do sketches on the planning process of the performance piece and a short 200-word write-up on the performance piece. And it's supposedly due today no matter what! >.< I hate them so much...
But what's more hurtful is not the studies or the marks, it's .......
...it's complicated I guess. =/
Two days, and I feel uncomfortable and weak. What more during the 2 month holiday break. I'm sure I'll end up weaker than usual. I'm sure I'll end up going out more than usual; joyriding. But that won't suffice. I need that Umph! power that keeps me alive, up and going for days or even weeks, and in this case, months.
I'm not sure I'm up for the 2 month long break, seeing how I'll end up becoming... Maybe the Holiday Studying Programme ain't a bad idea after all....
... 3:33 pm
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Musli Temasekian Victorian ACSian Ncc(Sea) Senior Peer Leader PSB ExCo Curriculum Head 1SC9 2SC9 AEP 16 yrs old 17 Feb '92 Aquaries Emo, not emo Muslimin
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